Jokes
די אחראים: יאנאש,אחראי,געלעגער
- ברוך מ'לאנדאן
- שר חמישים
- תגובות: 91
- זיך איינגעשריבן אום: מאנטאג מאי 20, 2019 2:59 am
- לאקאציע: ניו יארק
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- שר האלף
- תגובות: 1928
- זיך איינגעשריבן אום: דאנערשטאג דעצעמבער 28, 2017 10:14 am
קיקיון האט געשריבן:It took me a while to understand thisAbe was talking to his neighbor. "I’ve just bought a new hearing aid, Izzy. It was very expensive at $2,000, but its state of the art and worth every penny."
"Really?" says Izzy, "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."
dont chap joke you be me masbir ?
ברוינע באנאנע האט געשריבן:קיקיון האט געשריבן:It took me a while to understand thisAbe was talking to his neighbor. "I’ve just bought a new hearing aid, Izzy. It was very expensive at $2,000, but its state of the art and worth every penny."
"Really?" says Izzy, "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."
dont chap joke you be me masbir ?
Even with the expensive hearing aid he thought hes asking what time is it
- קיקיון
- שר עשרת אלפים
- תגובות: 15938
- זיך איינגעשריבן אום: מאנטאג יולי 16, 2012 11:11 am
- לאקאציע: אדערע זייט שאך ברעט פון חמרא טבא
YYTG האט געשריבן: Even with the expensive hearing aid he thought hes asking what time is it
ברוינע באנאנע האט געשריבן:dont chap joke you be me masbir ?
Your English is as good as Sadies's Yiddish
Sadie, an elderly lady, goes up to a man at a bus stop in Boro Park.
She tugs on the sleeve of his coat and asks, "Farshtayn Yiddish?"
The man answers, "Yes, ich farshtay."
Sadie then says, "Vot time is it?"
- קיקיון
- שר עשרת אלפים
- תגובות: 15938
- זיך איינגעשריבן אום: מאנטאג יולי 16, 2012 11:11 am
- לאקאציע: אדערע זייט שאך ברעט פון חמרא טבא
37655
A man joined a multinational company as a trainee.
On his first day he dialed the cafeteria and shouted into the phone, "Get me a coffee quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded, "You fool. You've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?"
"No" replied the trainee.
"It's the CEO of the company, you fool!"
The trainee shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?"
"No," replied the CEO.
"Good!" replied the trainee as he put down the phone.
On his first day he dialed the cafeteria and shouted into the phone, "Get me a coffee quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded, "You fool. You've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?"
"No" replied the trainee.
"It's the CEO of the company, you fool!"
The trainee shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?"
"No," replied the CEO.
"Good!" replied the trainee as he put down the phone.
קיקיון האט געשריבן:37655A man joined a multinational company as a trainee.
On his first day he dialed the cafeteria and shouted into the phone, "Get me a coffee quickly!"
The voice from the other side responded, "You fool. You've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?"
"No" replied the trainee.
"It's the CEO of the company, you fool!"
The trainee shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?"
"No," replied the CEO.
"Good!" replied the trainee as he put down the phone.
- קיקיון
- שר עשרת אלפים
- תגובות: 15938
- זיך איינגעשריבן אום: מאנטאג יולי 16, 2012 11:11 am
- לאקאציע: אדערע זייט שאך ברעט פון חמרא טבא
46
A yungerman was hired as rabbi in a small old community in Chicago. On his very first Shabbos, a heated debate erupted as to whether one should stand or sit during the reading of the Aseres Hadibros.
The next day, the rabbi visited 98 year-old Mr. Katz in the nursing home. "Mr. Katz, I'm asking you, as the oldest member of the community," said the rabbi, "what is our shul's minhag during the reading of the Aseres Hadibros?"
"Why do you ask?" asked Mr. Katz.
"Yesterday we read the Aseres Hadibros. Some people stood, some people sat. The ones standing started screaming at the ones sitting, telling them to stand up. The ones sitting started screaming at the ones standing, telling them to sit down..."
"That," said the old man, "is our minhag."
The next day, the rabbi visited 98 year-old Mr. Katz in the nursing home. "Mr. Katz, I'm asking you, as the oldest member of the community," said the rabbi, "what is our shul's minhag during the reading of the Aseres Hadibros?"
"Why do you ask?" asked Mr. Katz.
"Yesterday we read the Aseres Hadibros. Some people stood, some people sat. The ones standing started screaming at the ones sitting, telling them to stand up. The ones sitting started screaming at the ones standing, telling them to sit down..."
"That," said the old man, "is our minhag."
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- זיך איינגעשריבן אום: דינסטאג יולי 25, 2017 2:11 pm
- חושב מחשבות...
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- זיך איינגעשריבן אום: מיטוואך מארטש 16, 2016 9:25 pm
- לאקאציע: בין שמים לארץ
קיקיון האט געשריבן:46A yungerman was hired as rabbi in a small old community in Chicago. On his very first Shabbos, a heated debate erupted as to whether one should stand or sit during the reading of the Aseres Hadibros.
The next day, the rabbi visited 98 year-old Mr. Katz in the nursing home. "Mr. Katz, I'm asking you, as the oldest member of the community," said the rabbi, "what is our shul's minhag during the reading of the Aseres Hadibros?"
"Why do you ask?" asked Mr. Katz.
"Yesterday we read the Aseres Hadibros. Some people stood, some people sat. The ones standing started screaming at the ones sitting, telling them to stand up. The ones sitting started screaming at the ones standing, telling them to sit down..."
"That," said the old man, "is our minhag."
סוף מעשה במחשבה תחילה.
- nmi
- שר חמשת אלפים
- תגובות: 5122
- זיך איינגעשריבן אום: דאנערשטאג יוני 02, 2016 4:25 pm
- לאקאציע: אויפן קאוטש
קיקיון האט געשריבן:46A yungerman was hired as rabbi in a small old community in Chicago. On his very first Shabbos, a heated debate erupted as to whether one should stand or sit during the reading of the Aseres Hadibros.
The next day, the rabbi visited 98 year-old Mr. Katz in the nursing home. "Mr. Katz, I'm asking you, as the oldest member of the community," said the rabbi, "what is our shul's minhag during the reading of the Aseres Hadibros?"
"Why do you ask?" asked Mr. Katz.
"Yesterday we read the Aseres Hadibros. Some people stood, some people sat. The ones standing started screaming at the ones sitting, telling them to stand up. The ones sitting started screaming at the ones standing, telling them to sit down..."
"That," said the old man, "is our minhag."
גו....ט.
https://www.nmi.com/ שטיצט א גוי
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- זיך איינגעשריבן אום: מאנטאג סעפטעמבער 25, 2017 4:44 pm
- לאקאציע: שמחות תורה אויפ'ן פארענעשטעס
קיקיון האט געשריבן:46A yungerman was hired as rabbi in a small old community in Chicago. On his very first Shabbos, a heated debate erupted as to whether one should stand or sit during the reading of the Aseres Hadibros.
The next day, the rabbi visited 98 year-old Mr. Katz in the nursing home. "Mr. Katz, I'm asking you, as the oldest member of the community," said the rabbi, "what is our shul's minhag during the reading of the Aseres Hadibros?"
"Why do you ask?" asked Mr. Katz.
"Yesterday we read the Aseres Hadibros. Some people stood, some people sat. The ones standing started screaming at the ones sitting, telling them to stand up. The ones sitting started screaming at the ones standing, telling them to sit down..."
"That," said the old man, "is our minhag."
שוין גארנישט קיין טשואק
פארדעם איז טאקע געקומען א חרבן
מיט א וועלט מלחמה
- קיקיון
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- תגובות: 15938
- זיך איינגעשריבן אום: מאנטאג יולי 16, 2012 11:11 am
- לאקאציע: אדערע זייט שאך ברעט פון חמרא טבא
I hope you will enjoy this choke
Moty went to see his supervisor. "Boss," he said, "we're doing some heavy housecleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife asked me to stay home and help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."
"We're shorthanded," the boss replied. "I can't give you the day off."
"Thank you," said Morty. "I knew I could count on you!"
Moty went to see his supervisor. "Boss," he said, "we're doing some heavy housecleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife asked me to stay home and help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."
"We're shorthanded," the boss replied. "I can't give you the day off."
"Thank you," said Morty. "I knew I could count on you!"
- קיקיון
- שר עשרת אלפים
- תגובות: 15938
- זיך איינגעשריבן אום: מאנטאג יולי 16, 2012 11:11 am
- לאקאציע: אדערע זייט שאך ברעט פון חמרא טבא
60
Herman sat in the blazing sun all day without catching a single fish.
.On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and told the fish salesman
"Pick four large bass and throw them at me,
"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"
"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."
"Okay, but take trout."
"Why?"
"Because your wife came in earlier today and said if you came by I should tell you to take the trout
because that’s what she wants to have for supper tonight."
.On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and told the fish salesman
"Pick four large bass and throw them at me,
"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"
"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."
"Okay, but take trout."
"Why?"
"Because your wife came in earlier today and said if you came by I should tell you to take the trout
because that’s what she wants to have for supper tonight."