באקומען אין אימעיל

[derech eretz]

1m fr0m 7h3 C3R74IN P30PL3

[קיקיון]

Dear Friend of Renewal,

Kidney Transplant Now

Please be mispallel for:

Donor: Sara bas Rachel
Recipient: Mirel bas Rivkah

Mirel and Sara are both from New York and have been friends since they were children. When Sara heard that Mirel was in need of a kidney, she was honored to donate her kidney, since she not only wants to help another in need but since she considers herself family. Sara is a mother and grandmother with a busy life and today she is giving her childhood friend Sara a kidney. Sara is now B"H getting a new lease on life because of Mirel's amazing selfless act.

[קיקיון]

קאוד:

CARBON MONOXIDE ALERT: We received the following, which has been widely distributed. We have verified its source: “On the ‘third day’ of Rosh Hashanah [really Shabbos Shuva], I was awakened by the sound of the carbon monoxide alarm announcing high levels. We immediately cleared everyone out of the house and summoned the fire department. When they arrived, they informed me that the cause of the high carbon monoxide levels was due to leaving the stove and oven on over Yomtov and Shabbos. The buildup of these dangerous fumes was not due to a faulty gas line or leaking appliances, but rather to the lack of adequate ventilation. The constant burning of the gas range and oven - even on a low flame, will over time emit unhealthy levels of carbon monoxide.  I was told that the fire department was tending to many such calls over the last few days. The firemen implored me to please tell the Rabbis and announce to the community that if people need to leave on the stove or oven over the holidays, then must ensure that the area is properly ventilated. Turning on an exhaust fan or even opening the kitchen window a bit is enough to prevent terrible danger. I would also like to stress the importance of a carbon monoxide detector. They are not expensive and often come together with the smoke alarm. I would not want to think what our Shabbos would have been like had we not had the alarm- especially since the gas travels upward and the levels upstairs where everyone was sleeping were much higher. I have been told that in some communities there are public announcements to alert people to take the necessary precautions.”

[משזר]

א שיינעם דאנק פארן מיטיילן.

[?אפשרטאקע]

היינט באקומען:

אכטונג! אין די נעקסטע טאג צוויי גייען ברוינע פייגלעך ארום פליען העכער דיין הויז און גייען זינגען ברבלב'ע ניגונים. די איינציגסטע וועג דאס אפצושטעלן איז דורכן ארומשיקן די מעסעדזש צו 10 מענטשען מיט רויטליגע האר. געדענק! אויב וועסטו איגנארירן די מעסעדזש וועט זיך דיר אויסלעשן דאס לעצטע שוועבל ביים אנצינדן א ציגארעטל, ס'וועט זיך דיר מאכן שליים אינמיטן שוכן עד, מען וועט דיר שפילן שטייטע ניגונים ביי הורא, ס'וועט זיך דיר צוקלעבן אשר יצר פאפיר צום שיך און קיינער וועט דיר נישט מאכן אויפמערקזיים, דו וועסט אנקומען צום קיפקע א סעקונדע נאך איינער האט דעליווערד א גוטס און קיינער וועט דיר עס נישט איבערזאגן, דו וועסט קויפן זאכן א טאג פאר ס'הייבט זיך אן די סעיל.
אויב גלייבסטו נישט געב א קוק וועסטו זעהן אז דאס איז פונקט ווי די אנדערע נערישע מעסעדזשעס, און טו מיר א טובה און הער עס אויף ארומצושיקן

[Hardworker]

COINCIDENCE

Kennedy was elected in 1960.

Lincoln was elected in 1860.


Kennedy's secretary's name was Lincoln.

Lincoln's secretary's name was Kennedy.


Both secretaries advised their presidents not to go to the places where they were assassinated.


Both men were shot in the presence of their wives.


The successor of each president was named Johnson- Andrew


Johnson born in 1808, Lyndon Johnson born in 1908.


Of the two assassins, Booth was born in 1839, Oswald was born in 1939.

Booth ran from a theater, Oswald ran into a theater.

Both men were killed before they could be tried.
Both were killed on a Friday.

Have a history teacher explain this if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in
1846.

John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in
1946.


Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.

John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.



Both were particularly concerned with civil
rights.

Both wives lost a child while living in the White
House.



Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.

Both Presidents were shot in the head.



Now it gets really weird.



Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.

Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.



Both were assassinated by Southerners.

Both were succeeded by Southerners named
Johnson.



Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was
born in 1808.

Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was
born in 1908.


John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln,
was born in 1839.

Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy,
was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.

Both names are composed of fifteen letters.



Now hang on to your seat.



Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford."

Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made
by "Ford."

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before
their trials.

AND...................:

Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin
ran to a warehouse...

Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the
assassin ran to a theater...

[קיקיון]

[קיקיון]

פערטוישט די שוויגער מיט זוגתו

[קיקיון]

Chodesh Tov!

We're happy to remind you that Tuesday, August 26th and Wednesday, August 27th is Rosh Chodesh Elul.

Elul is a two day Rosh Chodesh, which begins Monday Night.

Look below to see if you are this month's Rosh Chodesh winnerPlease remember to add Yaale v'Yavo in your Tefillos and bentching after meals beginning Monday at sundown until Wednesday night.

Many have the custom to mark Rosh Chodesh with a festive meal and reduced work activity while keeping in mind the customs for the Nine Days.

[קיקיון]

Capture.GIF (9.7 KiB) געזעהן געווארן 269 מאל

א איד זאל זיך ניט שעמען שרייבען ?
אפשר פעלט א ווארט בזמנם?

[למעלה משבעים]

ס'איז א בושה תשובה צו טון?

[קיקיון]

ער האט נישט געשריבען
I do not miss a tefila

[לכאורה]

צו דן זיין א איד לכף זכות, ווען ער ווייסט נישט די זמנים קען צומאל אויסקומען ער דאווענען 2 מאל מנחה אנשטאט שחרית ומנחה, אדער צוויי מאל ערבית אנשטאט מנחה וערבית. יעצט אז ער ווייסט ווען חצות איז און ווען צאת הכוכבים איז, דאווענט ער שחרית ומנחה בזמנם און עס איז ראוי ליקרא שחרית און מנחה.

[קיקיון]

צו דן זיין א איד לכף זכות, ווען ער ווייסט נישט די זמנים קען צומאל אויסקומען ער דאווענען 2 מאל מנחה אנשטאט שחרית ומנחה, אדער צוויי מאל ערבית אנשטאט מנחה וערבית. יעצט אז ער ווייסט ווען חצות איז און ווען צאת הכוכבים איז, דאווענט ער שחרית ומנחה בזמנם און עס איז ראוי ליקרא שחרית און מנחה.

עס איז אן דעם גראבען פינגער
גאנץ פשטותדיג