טיפע רעיונות פון הגאון רבי אביגדור מיללער זצ"ל

געשמאקע ארטיקלן און בילדער וכדו'

די אחראים: אחראי, געלעגער

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: זונטאג נובעמבער 22, 2015 6:08 pm
פארבינד זיך:

ושונא מתנות יחיה (משלי ט"ו כ"ז)

תגובהדורך מונאוויטש » דאנארשטאג ינואר 18, 2018 12:41 pm


Sonei matanos yichyeh, it means if you hate gifts from human beings you're going to live; please explain?

And the idea is, what is life? Life is one thing, life is only bechira, free will; that's all life is. Life doesn't mean to be happy, because happiness really is in the next world, this world is not the real place. The true happiness is in the world to come. So why should a person worry if he's afraid he might die chalila? He's losing the opportunity to eat chicken? No. He's afraid because now he's going to lose that great gift of free will. That's what death means, death means your free will comes to an end. No more free will; forever! Happiness, yes to no end in the next world, but no free will.

If you accept gifts from somebody you are giving up part of your free will, because you cannot speak up and say your mind anymore. If you take gifts like Reb Chaim Brisker said, when he came to Brisk for the rabbonus, the first baal habos who gave him a dollar burned a hole in his palm; it never healed, he said. It means he wanted more. Once you start taking from people, you lose your free will.

Let's say you're going to visit someone. You're rich, you have plenty to eat at home, but you visit him and eat on his table. If you eat at his table then you're bound, you cannot help it; you have to laugh at his jokes.

And if he says a d'var Torah, no matter how much it's lacking, you have to say...very good. Sometimes he says things that are not virtuous, but you can't help yourself because you're his guest. That's why if you hate gifts you are going to live longer. Hakadosh Baruch Hu sees you utilize your free will, so He says this man deserves to live more to practice more free will.

But from Hakadosh Baruch Hu you can take and take, because if you lose your free will towards Him, that's alright. If you're more humbled before Him, that's alright.

So sonei matanos from human beings, yichyeh; but from Hakadosh Baruch Hu we're already mortgaged up to our ears anyhow, so you might as well take and take.


A Moment with Rabbi Avigdor Miller Zt"l #292
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
לעצט פאראכטן דורך מונאוויטש אום מיטוואך ינואר 31, 2018 12:44 pm, מאל פאראכטן געווארן 1 סך הכל.
מפתח צו מיינע אשכולות.

SPUSMN
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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מאנטאג יוני 06, 2011 11:01 am
לאקאציע: בתוך עמי אנכי ישבת

תגובהדורך SPUSMN » דאנארשטאג ינואר 18, 2018 1:16 pm

א גרויסען יישר כח הרב מונאוויטש; שטיקעל נאך שטיקעל, יעדער איינס א אוצר. זיין שפראך שנייט ווי א שפיז; ווען מען ליינט עס נאך מיט די טאון ווי ער האט עס געזאגט האט עס אלע טעעמים.

לעצטענס קומען צו מיר זייער ווייניג אן.
עת לחשות ועת לדבר - קהלת ג ז

SPUSMN
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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מאנטאג יוני 06, 2011 11:01 am
לאקאציע: בתוך עמי אנכי ישבת

דער באשעפער באדערט נישט אז די באדערסט אים, ואדרבא וועט דיר ליב האבען פאר דעם

תגובהדורך SPUSMN » פרייטאג ינואר 19, 2018 2:33 pm

Does Hashem care about little things?

Try to call out [to Hashem] at every opportunity. Let’s say you're going somewhere; if you say a short prayer you shouldn’t miss the bus, Hashem will love you for that.

If you say, "I won’t bother him for such a small thing; I’ll try to catch the bus myself, without him," you're off the tracks already. In everything you try to remember to call out to Hashem; he doesn't mind being bothered.

— Calling in Truth (#135)
עת לחשות ועת לדבר - קהלת ג ז

מערכת להתענג
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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: דינסטאג אוגוסט 18, 2015 7:33 pm

תגובהדורך מערכת להתענג » זונטאג ינואר 21, 2018 3:45 pm

ניי! גליון "ר' אביגדור ענטפערט" - שו"ת איבערגעזעצט אויף אידיש.
http://www.ladaat.info/showgil.aspx?par ... 20&gil=511

SPUSMN
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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מאנטאג יוני 06, 2011 11:01 am
לאקאציע: בתוך עמי אנכי ישבת

תגובהדורך SPUSMN » מאנטאג ינואר 22, 2018 3:06 pm

זייער גוט איבער געזעצט די דריי שטיקלעך וואס איז יעצט דארט; און פארגעסט נישט אונז צו דערמאנען דא נאכאמאל יעדעס מאל וואס נייע זאכען ווערען דארטען ארויף געלייגט.

ואגב א קליינע הערה, עס האט מיר גענומען צייט צו כאפען אז פיטש מיינט א peach. כ'מיין אז מען זאל עס שרייבען "פיעטש", אדער דארט ווי עס איז נישט אזוי קלאר אויך ברענגען דער ענגלישע ווארט.

א דאנק
עת לחשות ועת לדבר - קהלת ג ז

SPUSMN
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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מאנטאג יוני 06, 2011 11:01 am
לאקאציע: בתוך עמי אנכי ישבת

א איד דארף אייביג אנערקענען דער יד השם

תגובהדורך SPUSMN » דינסטאג ינואר 23, 2018 2:58 pm

What Keeps You Going In Tough Times?

A Jew should always be ready to recognize the hand of Hashem in all of our circumstances. Wherever Jews live, wherever Jews have an opportunity to function, they have to realize Hashem is [allowing] that despite all their enemies, despite the adverse circumstances.

— I Set You Apart (#546)
עת לחשות ועת לדבר - קהלת ג ז

SPUSMN
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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מאנטאג יוני 06, 2011 11:01 am
לאקאציע: בתוך עמי אנכי ישבת

יִשָּׁקֵנִי מִנְּשִׁיקוֹת פִּיהוּ כִּי טוֹבִים דֹּדֶיךָ מִיָּיִן (שיר השירים א' ב')

תגובהדורך SPUSMN » דינסטאג ינואר 23, 2018 3:07 pm

אֲנִי בְּצֶדֶק אֶחֱזֶה פָנֶיךָ אֶשְׂבְּעָה בְהָקִיץ תְּמוּנָתֶךָ (תהלים י"ז ט"ו)
Happiness is Loving Hashem

From Learning to Love Hashem (#675) by Rabbi Avigdor Miller

I remember in Slabodka an important person, Reb Dovid Rappaport. He was always talking in learning, always talking in learning, and when he walked in the street he was talking in learning. So when he bumped into a telegraph pole, he said, “anschuldig — excuse me,” and kept on talking in learning. He thought he bumped into a person. He was so immersed in learning he didn’t know where he was going.

The Rambam describes a person like as “intoxicated”: he’s drunk. It’s a happiness. It’s such a happiness that Shlomo Hamelech at the beginning of Shir Hashirim said, “yishakeini m’nishikos pihu — Hashem should kiss me with the kisses of His mouth” once more like He kissed me before.

The Malbim explains that Hashem spoke to Shlomo Hamelech two times; It made him so intoxicated with happiness he could never forget it. All his life he yearned — ah, once more the Ribono Shel Olam yishakeini m’nishikus, kiss me, kiss me in the mouth, “ki tovim dodecha m’yayin — because Your love is better than wine.”

So the great happiness of the ohev Hashem is available in this world. The real longing you have in your heart, this is what you really want. Everything else that you love — money and honor — are only substitutes. After a while you get disgusted and see they are not what you really want.

So why should you waste your life looking for it? Discover in the beginning what you want. However, because it’s such a great happiness, Hashem reserves the real ahavas Hashem for Olam Haba (The World to Come). There, “tzaddikim yoshvim — the righteous sit with their crowns on their heads,” and they enjoy looking at their beloved one.

“Esbiah b’hakis temunasecha — let me satiate myself with the love of Your face when You wake me up." When You wake me up in the Next World, I should see Your beloved face bending over me. That’s what I’m looking forward to. That’s the greatest happiness that a man could ever have. Hashem Himself couldn’t invent a greater happiness than that. That’s the reward for those who love Hashem in This World; they’re rewarded in the World to Come.
Why should you waste your life? Discover in the beginning what you really want
עת לחשות ועת לדבר - קהלת ג ז

SPUSMN
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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מאנטאג יוני 06, 2011 11:01 am
לאקאציע: בתוך עמי אנכי ישבת

כִּי אֶת אֲשֶׁר יֶאֱהַב ה' יוֹכִיחַ וּכְאָב אֶת בֵּן יִרְצֶה (משלי ג' י"ב)

תגובהדורך SPUSMN » דינסטאג ינואר 23, 2018 3:25 pm

Why Does Hashem Castigate Yisroel?

The nations of the world are not chastised as much as Israel, and the Torah does not spend time chastising them; but eventually they are entirely destroyed. Israel is eternal, because Hashem constantly corrects them. This is the key to explain the true reason for all the bitter castigations and severe retribution that were showered upon this [desert] generation.

— Fortunate Nation
עת לחשות ועת לדבר - קהלת ג ז

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: זונטאג נובעמבער 22, 2015 6:08 pm
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פטור ווערן פון אלטע ראיות אסורות

תגובהדורך מונאוויטש » דינסטאג ינואר 23, 2018 5:10 pm


What steps can be taken to erase bad memories?

Bad memories mean - not sad memories, I'm talking about bad memories. A person once picked up a newspaper and saw a piece of tiflah, something that was foul and it went to his head at that moment, how do you get rid of that? That's important, how do you get rid of the wrong ideas? You passed a billboard, there are very bad ideas on billboards today sometimes. How do you get it out of your head? We follow the Rambam's advice: fill your head with good things so there shouldn't be any room left for wrong things. Now that's very important; your mind must be full of ideas.

When you walk in the street, are you thinking of Torah ideas? For instance, are you thinking how great it is to be a Jew, she'lo uh'sani goy? Are you thinking about your tzitzis? Ur'isem oso uzchartem es kol mitzvos Hashem. Do you ever think about any mitzvos when you look at your tzizis? Oh it's a pity, get in the habit, when you look at your tzizis think about something. Think about mezuzah, think about shmiras halashon, think about learning Torah, there are a thousand things, think about something.

When you see a mezuzah, look at the mezuzah and the mezuzah is saying Hashem echod, Hashem is one. What does that mean? He is the mehaveh, He is the only one that exists, and He made the world come into existence out of nothing, at least that much you should think. Now, I can't say every time you see a mezuzah, but sometimes the mezuzah should be able to remind you of something. It reminds you also to get busy and learn Torah, and when you're in the house at the Shabbos table, the mezuzah is looking at you all the time, and watching you.

You're sitting in the house eating, look at the mezuzah, it's watching you, watch out! Don't talk the wrong things! Don't get angry! Be polite, make a brochoh with kavanah, the mezuzah is looking at you!

Therefore that's how to get wrong things out of your head.


A Moment with Rabbi Avigdor Miller Zt"l #330
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
לעצט פאראכטן דורך מונאוויטש אום מיטוואך ינואר 31, 2018 12:45 pm, מאל פאראכטן געווארן 1 סך הכל.
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תגובהדורך מונאוויטש » דינסטאג ינואר 23, 2018 5:22 pm


How do you answer someone who says religious women are second class?

Religious women are A-1 class!! There's nobody better than religious women. Now, what about religious men? They're also A-1. Certainly, we're not going to say that women are better than men. Oh, you want to say they're second class compared to religious men? Look, with Hakadosh Baruch Hu there's no such thing! Everybody is judged on his merits, like I mentioned before. A righteous Torah woman, a woman who is Orthodox and is loyal to Hakadosh Baruch Hu and tries her best, can many times outdo the biggest tzadikim.

I give you one example here. Rebbetzin Kaplan [the founder of the Bais Yaakov movement in America], who made a revolution in America, and she did more than any single Rosh Hayeshiva did in America. But even if you're not such a successful personality, in your own home, if you serve Hakadosh Baruch Hu with a pure heart and you try very hard, there's no question that you can become great. What do you want? You want to hold speeches? Speeches are not for women to hold in public, there's a reason for that, it's a biological reason, it can't be helped. Women can speak to women, but you can't become a Rosh Hayeshiva if you're a woman. And don't bewail the fact that you can't become a Chief Rabbi, there's a reason why women cannot do that, it's a technical reason.

Therefore every person should utilize his opportunities, and women have opportunities to become great no less than anyone else.


A Moment with Rabbi Avigdor Miller Zt"l #305
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
לעצט פאראכטן דורך מונאוויטש אום מיטוואך ינואר 31, 2018 12:48 pm, מאל פאראכטן געווארן 1 סך הכל.
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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: זונטאג נובעמבער 22, 2015 6:08 pm
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תגובהדורך מונאוויטש » דינסטאג ינואר 23, 2018 5:30 pm


Why do we make a seudas mitzvah for a boy when he becomes bar mitzvah and not for a girl when she becomes bat mitzvah?

When a boy becomes bar mitzvah, he is chayov in all the mitzvos; a girl doesn't get all the mitzvos. There's another reason however, and this is an important reason.

The derech haTorah is to keep women under the cover. Women should come out in public, even a girl, is not the derech haTorah; it can't be helped, that's human nature. There's a blanket between us and between the other gender. L'hisracheik min hanoshim, keep away from women, not because - chas v'shalom, women can be even better than you are, but you have to keep away from men and men keep away from women.

At a boy's bar mitzvah, he comes into shul, everybody listens to him, looks at him. It's not good for a girl to be looked at too much, the less they see her the better off we are; it can't be helped. Men have a drive that women don't have, men are more easily excited than women are, that's why men have to be more careful not to have women around them that they can't look at.

Any woman who walks in the street with her body exposed, she's going to pay a very big price; she's going to be punished terribly for what she did to men. She walks in the street, exposing her body to men, a tremendous punishment is going to be upon her. She doesn't realize how expensive it's going to be, because men are sensitive. It can't be helped, that's their nature.

Therefore Hakadosh Baruch Hu said, that there should be a great mechitzah between men and women forever and ever, and that's the kedusha of the Am Yisroel, we're separate. It doesn't mean chas v'shalom any reflection; the Jewish women are kodesh kodoshim just like the men are kodesh kodoshim. In a certain sense, the gemara says that women are more fortunate because when they stay home and don't look for kavod, don't fight who gets shishi, it's easy for them to avoid many things that men have nisyonos.

Therefore the Jewish woman is just as kadosh and in Gan Eden they'll be no less than men, no less than men, only in this world we have to separate them, that's the derech haTorah, that's the holy nation.
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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: זונטאג נובעמבער 22, 2015 6:08 pm
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כי בצלם אלקים עשה את האדם

תגובהדורך מונאוויטש » מיטוואך ינואר 24, 2018 4:24 pm


Why is the human face the most glorious object in the universe?

Because Hakadosh Baruch Hu says so: ki b'tzelem Elokim asa es ha'adam, He made man in His image. Now we know that's a form speech, He's not talking about a man's hands, He's talking about his face. Now we understand to a certain extent that the face is like a screen, upon which a movie projector, the soul, projects an image.

Emotions, noble emotions are expressed on the face. The face expresses yearning - for greatness, for the unknown, a desire for exploration, to discover things that are not known to us. People are yearning for something; it's all on the human face. Even an ordinary human face has some reflections of this greatness. Hakadosh Baruch Hu said openly, a man's face is tzelem Elokim.

Therefore we have to train ourselves, instead of following the silly people who make jokes about human faces - especially cartoonists. They exaggerate certain features, a longer nose, longer chin, and make people's faces an object of jest and ridicule, we have to despise them.

A human face, after all, is the most glorious possession mankind has. Physically there is nothing more important than a human face, we have to honor the human face. The Gemara says in Sanhedrin (58:): hasoter luo shel Yisroel [keilu soter luo shel Shechinah], somebody who slaps his fellow man's face, it's like slapping the face of Hashem! We have to teach ourselves that.

When you look at your neighbor's face, you should think you're looking at a mirror reflection of Hashem, that's to remind you of Hakadosh Baruch Hu. By looking at the faces of other people, you're reminded of Hakadosh Baruch Hu.

Constantly we have to train ourselves in that concept until it becomes second nature to us.
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SPUSMN
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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מאנטאג יוני 06, 2011 11:01 am
לאקאציע: בתוך עמי אנכי ישבת

כל הנשמה תהלל קה - על כל נשימה ונשימה תהלל קה

תגובהדורך SPUSMN » מיטוואך ינואר 24, 2018 6:04 pm

What He Does for Us

In This World everything is a gift for which we are expected to “pay,” by showing gratitude. Even the air we breathe is a gift to us. We need to pay for the air we breathe, as it says, "For every breath praise Hashem" (Tehillim 150:6). For every breath we have to pay Hashem. Look how long we have been breathing. Did we thank Him for the air? It doesn’t enter our minds at all.

— Ohr Avigdor Shaar Avodas Elokim
עת לחשות ועת לדבר - קהלת ג ז

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: זונטאג נובעמבער 22, 2015 6:08 pm
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שלום עליכם - עליכם שלום

תגובהדורך מונאוויטש » מיטוואך ינואר 24, 2018 6:41 pm


Now comes the ceremony of Kiddush Levanah. There are a number of things we say there, and they all need explanation. One is, to three people present you say shalom aleichem and they answer aleichem shalom. Now those men are not newcomers, they're not strangers, you saw them the whole Shabbos together, now it's after Shabbos and you say shalom aleichem as if they were wayfarers who just came from a distant journey?

You want three Jews to bless you, a bais din, three Jews give you a blessing for the new month, that's what it is. Rosh Chodesh, you pray for a new month, don't you? Yaleh v'yovo, we say bless Hashem give us this month, we are praying for the coming month. People are worried about forgetting yaleh v'yovo, it's important. Don't forget yaleh v'yovo, and there are signs yaleh v'yovo, and the shamos gives a knock on the table to remember yaleh v'yovo, and the people remember yaleh v'yovo but they forget what yaleh v'yovo is about.

What's yaleh v'yovo for? It's a prayer, we want chaim and shalom for this ensuing month, that's what it's for. We pray to Him, He should save us, He should rescue us, He should listen to our prayers. Look how we say it, yaleh, v'yovo, v'yeiroeh, v'yirotzeh, v'yishoma, v'yipoked, v'yizocher, and we're praying so fervently because it's important to pray for the coming month. Every month, pray for the month to come, prayer is important. You don't know what's going to happen in the month to come, vehanya b'uso, tefillah helps, it's important to pray.

Therefore, at Kiddush Levanah we say shalom aleichem to three people and they reply aleichem shalom, and that's a significant beginning for the new month if three Jews give you a blessing. Of course, if these three Jews understand the purpose of it, and they'll put a little kavana in it, it's even better. So to do that, you put some kavana into yours, and not merely to fulfill a custom by rote, then they'll reply with kavana and they'll put some heart into the blessing. Isn't that a wonderful idea?

When you say shalom aleichem, you mean peace should be upon you this month, it means this month you should make a lot of money, this month your wife should be successful in cooking good meals, this month your neighbors should all be nice to you, this month the weather should be good, think of all those things. The more you'll put into it, the more you'll get back.
לעצט פאראכטן דורך מונאוויטש אום מיטוואך ינואר 24, 2018 11:29 pm, מאל פאראכטן געווארן 1 סך הכל.
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לאקאציע: בתוך עמי אנכי ישבת

וְזֶה לְּךָ הָאוֹת כִּי אָנֹכִי שְׁלַחְתִּיךָ

תגובהדורך SPUSMN » מיטוואך ינואר 24, 2018 6:49 pm

וְזֶה לְּךָ הָאוֹת כִּי אָנֹכִי שְׁלַחְתִּיךָ בְּהוֹצִיאֲךָ אֶת הָעָם מִמִּצְרַיִם תַּעַבְדוּן אֶת הָאֱלֹקים עַל הָהָר הַזֶּהַ (שמות ג' י"ב)
The Greatest Humility

[This is] the greatest form of humility, when you can humble yourself and say, "If Hashem says this, that’s the right way to think, and any other way is the wrong way to think."

Therefore, when Hashem spoke to Moshe Rabbeinu He said, "I am giving you a sign that you’ll have great success: This entire nation, a nation of independent minds... they’ll all be humbled and all will accept the Torah out of a humility that came from a great gratitude that they couldn’t pay back. And that was the avoda (service) that took place at Har Sinai.

— Supreme Services (#35)
עת לחשות ועת לדבר - קהלת ג ז

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: זונטאג נובעמבער 22, 2015 6:08 pm
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תגובהדורך מונאוויטש » מיטוואך ינואר 24, 2018 7:10 pm

מונאוויטש האט געשריבן:
What's yaleh v'yovo for? It's a prayer, we want chaim and shalom for this ensuing month, that's what it's for. We pray to Him, He should save us, He should rescue us, He should listen to our prayers. Look how we say it, yaleh, v'yovo, v'yeiroeh, v'yirotzeh, v'yishoma, v'yipoked, v'yizocher, and we're praying so fervently because it's important to pray for the coming month. Every month, pray for the month to come, prayer is important. You don't know what's going to happen in the month to come, mehaya b'uso, tefillah helps, it's important to pray.


איך האב ארויפגעלייגט דעם שטיקל אזוי ווי איך האב איר געקריגן. אפשר קען עמיצער מפענח זיין mehaya b'uso.
מפתח צו מיינע אשכולות.

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: זונטאג נובעמבער 22, 2015 6:08 pm
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תגובהדורך מונאוויטש » מיטוואך ינואר 24, 2018 11:26 pm

מיר האבן איבערגעהערט דעם טעיפ. דער וואס האט מעתיק געווען דעם שמועס האט עס נישט גוט אראפגעשריבן.

פון פיוט 'אקדמות":

צבי וחמיד ורגיג דילאון בלעותא,
צלותהון בכן מקבל והניא בעותא.
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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מיטוואך נובעמבער 26, 2014 9:13 am
לאקאציע: צווישן האמער און נאגל

תגובהדורך באלזאם » דאנארשטאג ינואר 25, 2018 7:17 am

אקעי, אבער ווי קומט עס אריין אין די סענטענס?

אגב, א דאנק שפוזמאן און מונאוויטש פאר די סחורה.
ר' אביגדור'ס רעיונות זענען זענען דאך אזוי שיין. און גלייכצייטיג, אזוי מחייב..

ווי האט שפוזמאן געזאגט: "ער איז down to earth אבער ראשו מגיע השמימה."

קיעפ אפ
העי, וואטש ווי די טרעטסט, טרעט נישט אין קיין מאראסט. . (קרעדיט: זעמל)

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: דאנארשטאג יוני 16, 2016 2:52 am

תגובהדורך קוטיג » דאנארשטאג ינואר 25, 2018 7:25 am

מערכת להתענג האט געשריבן:ניי! גליון "ר' אביגדור ענטפערט" - שו"ת איבערגעזעצט אויף אידיש.
http://www.ladaat.info/showgil.aspx?par ... 20&gil=511

אגרויסן ייש"כ,
ביטע זייט ממשיך לזכות את הרבים.

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: זונטאג נובעמבער 22, 2015 6:08 pm
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תגובהדורך מונאוויטש » דאנארשטאג ינואר 25, 2018 8:38 am

באלזאם האט געשריבן:אקעי, אבער ווי קומט עס אריין אין די סענטענס?

והניא בעותא, און תפילה העלפט, עס וועט ווערן אנגענומען.
מפתח צו מיינע אשכולות.

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מיטוואך נובעמבער 26, 2014 9:13 am
לאקאציע: צווישן האמער און נאגל

תגובהדורך באלזאם » דאנארשטאג ינואר 25, 2018 9:51 am

מונאוויטש האט געשריבן:
באלזאם האט געשריבן:אקעי, אבער ווי קומט עס אריין אין די סענטענס?

והניא בעותא, און תפילה העלפט, עס וועט ווערן אנגענומען.

אהא.
געמיינט די זאגסט אז ער ברענגט אראפ די גאנצע שטיקל אקדמות
העי, וואטש ווי די טרעטסט, טרעט נישט אין קיין מאראסט. . (קרעדיט: זעמל)

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: זונטאג נובעמבער 22, 2015 6:08 pm
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בן שמונה עשרה לחופה

תגובהדורך מונאוויטש » דאנארשטאג ינואר 25, 2018 2:13 pm

Should someone of marriageable age delay getting married because they are immature?

The only way you can become mature is, you get married while you are already in the funeral parlor. Then he should call in a Reverend and make a chupa and get married. As long as you are alive, nobody is mature. No marriage is perfect. The same is, no car is perfect. Still, people buy cars and even eighteen-year-olds get cars. As soon as they can get a license legally, they do it. Because it's a very big convenience, you can travel places with cars.

Marriage makes you travel places, you could accomplish, you could accomplish a family if you are married. If you wait until you are mature, which will never be, so you marry when you are past the childbearing age and you will never be a granddaddy. Never will you have grandchildren. A tragedy to wait too long. Nobody is mature. Another thing, when a girl becomes mature, she matures not only in her abilities to manage marriage, she matures also in selfishness. She matures in stubbornness. She matures in having her own ideas, she becomes a feminist. She becomes more difficult to live with. But when she is young and pliable, and she is able to change yet, that's the best time, and therefore, when you marry young, although there will be some strapping, it's adjusting, but eventually they'll adjust, doesn't mean that everybody lives the most ideal life. I don't know if there is an ideal marriage, but all marriage is ideal.

A man and a women are made for each other, and that's a great happiness. Therefore, people who try to postpone marriage because they want to become more mature, first of all, they will never become more mature, and second, they are maturing in the wrong direction. It's like the Lulov leaves. At the beginning, the Lulov leaves are soft, and pliable, so you can push them back against the Lulov. If you wait longer it grows out and the leaves become hard and you can't push them back on the Lulov anymore. And so people when they become older they won't adjust anymore, the older they are, it's harder to adjust to anybody else. And therefore the most mature time to get married is when you are very young.
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תגובהדורך מונאוויטש » דאנארשטאג ינואר 25, 2018 2:33 pm


How can a Kollel couple live a basic life, if his wife has to go out to work?

Now, this you have to know, it's not an ordinary normal life. If you want to live a normal life, you usually won't be much. It's only people who are ready to sacrifice, to live with heroism, to become something exceptional. Now you're not required - a woman is not required to work to keep her husband in the Kollel, certainly not. But if she is willing to do it, it's a greatness, and she is distinguished in our nation, distinguished in our history. But nobody is obligated to do it.

Certainly, it's not a normal life, but was it not a normal life when Rabbi Akiva went away for twenty-four years, and he became the father of our nation in Torah. All the great people live abnormal lives, but it doesn't mean that we are obligated to do it; it's hard to be abnormal. So let's live normal lives, and be frum Jews, and be happy with Torah and Mitzvos, and have a nice family, and celebrate Shabbos and Yom Tov.

If you're big enough to go a step beyond what's normal, then tavo aleichem brocha, surely good; but see that you're happy when you do it. If you're doing it in unhappiness and you're yearning for what the so-called normal life is, then you're not doing it.

If you're big enough to live a Kollel life, then you're great, but nobody can force you into it.
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חַכְמוֹת נָשִׁים בָּנְתָה בֵיתָהּ

תגובהדורך מונאוויטש » דאנארשטאג ינואר 25, 2018 2:47 pm


Should a wife remind a husband to go to learn, or will it be considered as if she is a nagger and she lacks confidence in him?

It states in Mishlei (14:1), Chochmas noshim bonso bayso, the wisdom of women build a house. If you want to build a house, you just can't say "I'm going to take some beams from the lumber yard, and some cement and bags of concrete, and I'll build"..You have to learn the wisdom of building a house. A woman who wants to build her house has to learn wisdom, you can not do things unless you have wisdom. How do you do it with wisdom? She has to try to learn wisdom. If you have a difficult husband, if you have wisdom, it's easier to manage him. If you'll just go with your desire to make him over to your idea what a husband should be, all you'll do is to get into trouble, you'll frustrate yourself and it'll be fighting.

To change your husband is not an easy job, the best thing is to get somebody who was changed before you marry him, his mother changed him already, his Rebbe changed him. Never marry a man with the intention that you are going to change him, it's almost a hopeless task. But suppose there are certain things that you do want to change in him, you can do it by various methods, methods of insinuation, praising him; if you put him in a good environment, he should imitate his friends. There are a number of ways, but all these ways require wisdom, because not only to change a man, to change a woman, to change anybody is a very difficult task.

Therefore, it's possible to change somebody but you have to utilize a great deal of diplomacy to do it.
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תגובהדורך מונאוויטש » דאנארשטאג ינואר 25, 2018 6:31 pm


When you're making kiddush over wine, why do you have to cover up the challa?

The reason that's given is, in order not to embarrass the challa, not to shame it; challa is important.

Now, there's more than that reason, but just to follow that line of thought... In the Chovos Halvavos he tells a story of a chosid; a pious man was walking with his disciple, and they saw lying in the street a dead cow. It was summertime and the carcass had been "ripening" for some time, and the disciple made a remark about the odor. So his master rebuked him and said, but look how white her teeth are!

Now the question is, is there a problem of loshon hara on a dead animal? And the answer is, you have to practice up on everything. Because once you get into the habit of belittling inanimate objects, it becomes a habit that's transferred to human beings. If you like to knock things, you're eventually going to knock people, and the gemora says even more. If you knock people, you'll come to knock Hakadosh Baruch Hu. Like it says (Arachin 15b) Shatu bashomyim pihem ul'shonom ti'halach ba'aretz, you know why their tongues, their mouths are against heaven? Because their tongues formerly walked around on the earth.

Their tongues used to take big tours. They used to sit in a home by Melava Malka and they talked about everybody. They walked through Boro Park, Queens with their tongues, they even walked in Eretz Yisroel and talked about Gedolim and Jews in Eretz Yisroel, ul'shonom ti'halach ba'aretz, their tongue was taking a tour. Sitting at that party, their tongues are touring the world and lambasting everybody. So as a result, they talked against Hakadosh Baruch Hu too eventually; you can't departmentalize a man. So we practice up on inanimate objects, we don't talk against inanimate things.

The same is, if you'll practice up not embarrassing the challos, it's a pretty good preparation for not embarrassing your sister or brother at the table. You'll make a kal vechomr: Madoch the challa you shouldn't embarrass, so you shouldn't embarrass your brothers and sisters at the table, that's the way to learn! But if you're a tzadik who's only interested in saving the kavod of the challa but not the kavod of human beings, so you don't know how to learn. Don't you know how to darshan a kal vechomer? A man that doesn't know how to darshan a kal vechomer didn't begin to learn, so you make a kal vechomer from the challos.

And that's why we have to respect inanimate things.

A Moment with Rabbi Avigdor Miller Zt"l #300
To listen to the audio of this Q & A please dial: 201-676-3210
לעצט פאראכטן דורך מונאוויטש אום זונטאג ינואר 28, 2018 5:04 pm, מאל פאראכטן געווארן 1 סך הכל.
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צוריק צו “היימישע קרעטשמע”

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