The English Thread

גריסן און שמועסן

אחראי: אחראי

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מאנטאג יולי 16, 2012 11:11 am

תגובהדורך קיקיון » זונטאג דעצמבער 27, 2015 7:54 am

ווישוואש האט געשריבן:
קיקיון האט געשריבן:
קיקיון האט געשריבן:nobody knows
?
that is fishy


Gh is f, as in tough, rough, enough; o is I as in women; and ti is sh, as in mention, attention, &c. So ghoti is fish

You missed a letter, it's ghotio

(ETA: just googled it, I see Wikipedia writes ghoti, although I don't understand why)

o is not part pf the sh sound it is pronounced seperately

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: דאנארשטאג יוני 25, 2015 11:30 am

תגובהדורך בענקעל » דינסטאג מארטש 28, 2017 11:29 am

Read with patience


While a man was polishing his new car, his 6 yr old son picked up a stone and scratched lines on the side of the car.
In anger, the man took the child's hand and hit it many times;

not realising he was using a wrench.

At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures.

When the child saw his father...

with painful eyes he asked, 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?'

The man was so hurt and speechless;

he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times.

Devastated by his own actions.....

sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches;

The child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'....!

Anger and Love have no limits;

Choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely life.....

Things are to be used and people are to be loved.
But the problem in today's world is that:

People are used and things are loved.

In this year, let's be careful to keep this thought in mind:

Things are to be used, but People are to be loved.

Watch your thoughts; they become words.

Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions; they become habits.

Watch your habits they become character;

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

I'm glad a friend forwarded this to me as a reminder.

God bless you.

If you don't pass this on nothing bad will happen;
If you do, you might change someones' life.

Do u know the relationship between your two eyes?

They blink together, move together, cry together, see things together & sleep together.

Even though they never see each other.

Friendship should be just like that...!

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מאנטאג יולי 16, 2012 11:11 am

תגובהדורך קיקיון » דינסטאג מארטש 28, 2017 4:45 pm

Do you want to write something in English ?
Do you want to copy/paste something written in English?
Don't you want your readers to enjoy what you wrote?
Where does the punctuation show?
When you include לשה"ק אדער אידיש where do they show?
Annoying isn't it?
There are a couple of solutions!


In this case I used the "left" button , a bit better
Do you want to write something in English ?
Do you want to copy/paste something written in English?
Don't you want your readers to enjoy what you wrote?
Where does the punctuation show?
When you include לשה"ק אדער אידיש where do they show?
Annoying isn't it?
There are a couple of solutions!

קאוד: וועל אויס אלע

In this case I used the "code" button but it is a bit troublesome with longer posts.
Do you want to write something in English ?
Do you want to copy/paste something written in English?
Don't you want  your readers to enjoy what you wrote?
Where does the punctuation show?
When you include לשה"ק אדער אידיש where do they show?
Annoying isn't it?
There are a couple of solutions!


Captur2.JPG


Capture.JPG

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: דאנארשטאג דעצמבער 24, 2015 2:17 pm
לאקאציע: אין שטאל

תגובהדורך וואוילע שעפעלע » דינסטאג מארטש 28, 2017 10:00 pm

!tanx
"וואס איר זעהט און הערט אויף טעלעוויזיע איז נישט אלעמאל וואס האט עכט פאסירט" (טראמפ - יולי 2018)

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מאנטאג יולי 16, 2012 11:11 am

תגובהדורך קיקיון » מיטוואך יולי 12, 2017 12:01 pm

07

The Man Who Caused Us to Miss the Train
Rabbi Marcus Lehman

I was in a great hurry that morning. I was heading a delegation slated to meet with the German Minister of Education, and had only 30 minutes to get to the station where the two other representatives of the Meintz Jewish community awaited me and from where we would board the train to the capital.

I had already put on my coat when I heard an unfamiliar voice in the hallway asking to see me immediately. I heard my wife explaining that I was in a terrible rush and suggesting that the visitor come back the following day. "No!" the unknown voice cried. "Tomorrow will be too late. It's absolutely urgent -- a matter of life and death!"

I ran into the hallway and invited the stranger into my study. "Please tell me what the problem is very quickly," I said. "I'm about to leave to the station, and the carriage is already waiting."

"Yes, Rabbi. But first, Shalom Aleichem! Don't you recognize me?" the little white-haired old man asked.

"No, I'm sorry. But please get to the point. I can only give you a minute. You said..."

"Yes, Rabbi," the little man said, settling comfortably into a chair. "It is indeed a matter of life and death. But I'm surprised that you don't remember me. About a year ago I heard you give a sermon in your synagogue. Ay-ay-ay, what a sermon! Every word you uttered was a gem. I have a good memory, Rabbi. I could repeat it for you, if you'd like."

"My dear friend," I replied, "please get to the point. Otherwise, you'll be sitting here by yourself. I really must run."

"Alright, Rabbi. This is the story...

"Thirty years ago I married a true 'woman of valor.' For 25 years we lived happily. Then, five years ago, my wife passed away…"

I was getting annoyed. "I'm afraid there's not much I can do at this point, is there? Come back tomorrow and I'll be more than happy to listen to your life story. But I simply must leave for the station. My train is departing in a few minutes."

The old man clutched my sleeve. "Please hear me out," he begged. "I assure you, the life of a live person is at stake. Let me continue...

"A few years ago my son moved to America. After my wife died, he asked me to come live with him. I went, but I didn't like it in America, and I came back. That was a year ago, about the same time I heard your sermon. Ay-ay-ay, what a sermon! Every word was a pearl, a precious gem…"

"Again with the sermon!" I cried, looking at my watch.

"All right, I won't mention it again. But just listen to what happened. I arrived home a few days before the brit (circumcision) of my grandson, and was given the honor of being sandek (the one who holds the baby). Unfortunately, the day before the brit the baby got sick and died...

"But that isn't why I'm here. Last week, my daughter gave birth to another son, and again asked me to be sandek."

"May the brit take place in a good and auspicious time," I mumbled, rushing to the door.

"But Rabbi!" the old man persisted. "I'm afraid. Don't you understand? I don't even want to say it aloud, but... Maybe I shouldn't be sandek?"

"So let someone else be sandek!" I said distractedly as I scrambled into the waiting carriage.

"And the name?" the visitor called after me. "What should we name the baby? Should we name him Yitzchak-Shlomo, as we planned to name the first baby? Or should we choose a different name? This is a life-and-death matter!"

"You want me to pick a name?" I cried, finally losing my patience. "Call him Abraham, Baruch, Chayim, David, Michah, Yerucham, Zerach …"

"I'll pay you double if we get to the station on time!" I yelled to the driver, but it was too late. As soon as we arrived at the station we heard the train departing.

I was beside myself. How would we ever excuse our lateness to the Minister? Should we even go at all? But the other members of the delegation, who had waited for me at the station, were more amused than upset when they heard the cause for my delay. We decided to take the next train, scheduled to depart in two hours.

When we returned to the station later, the whole place was in an uproar. The train we had missed had been involved in a terrible accident. Many of the passengers had been killed and dozens were injured. In retrospect, the old man with his rambling story had been an emissary sent from G‑d to save our lives. Indeed, it had been a matter of life-and-death...

The Minister had been very worried about us, and was delighted to learn that we had not been on the ill-fated train. The delegation's mission was conducted successfully.

Two years later, I passed through a certain village, and many of the townsfolk came out to greet me. Standing at the front of the line was none other than my old friend, the little white-haired man.

"Shalom Aleichem! Do you remember me? A few years ago I heard you give a sermon. Ay-ay-ay, what a sermon!" The old man held a small child in his arms. "This is my grandson, Abraham-Baruch-Chayim-David-Michah-Yerucham-Zerach."

"So many names?" I asked in surprise.

"But you yourself told us to name him that!" the old man replied. "I have an excellent memory. I can even repeat your sermon word for word if you'd like. Ay, what a sermon that was..."

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מיטוואך ינואר 25, 2017 3:23 pm
לאקאציע: שבתדיגע זמירות

תגובהדורך דונש » מיטוואך יולי 12, 2017 4:48 pm

געווען איינע פון מיינע מאוסט פעווואריט מעשוית אלץ קינד...
זוכט איר דוי?

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מיטוואך יולי 12, 2017 7:10 am

תגובהדורך קאזאק » זונטאג יולי 16, 2017 8:10 am

Hashgachah Pratis stories, like the famous one posted by Kikayon, deepens one's emunah in Hashem and should be encouraged in chedorim, yeshivos, schools and homes.

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מאנטאג יולי 16, 2012 11:11 am

תגובהדורך קיקיון » זונטאג יולי 16, 2017 3:10 pm

Here is a new technique for writing or copy/paste in English. but I haven't yet found away to include Lushon Kodesh and Yiddish.
Download download/file.php?id=79728 and save it.
Thus will be your template.
Hatzlacha!

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מאנטאג יולי 16, 2012 11:11 am

תגובהדורך קיקיון » פרייטאג אוגוסט 18, 2017 5:26 pm

Great news!
I figured out a way a way to include תויתוא עשידיא
use http://www.textreverse.com/

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: דאנארשטאג אפריל 06, 2017 11:03 am

תגובהדורך איךביןאיך » דינסטאג נובעמבער 28, 2017 11:26 am

א גרויסע יישר כח הרב קיקיון פאר'ן מיר אויסלערנען ווי אזוי ארויף צי שטעלן ENGLISH אז ס'זאל האב'ן א נארמאל אויסלייג
קיקיון האט געשריבן:
Great news!
I figured out a way a way to include תויתוא עשידיא
use http://www.textreverse.com/

פון אישי
קיקיון האט געשריבן:אז די ווילסט אויסדרייען אן אריכות
נוץ http://textmechanic.com/text-tools/obfu ... generator/
און נוץ FLIP

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מאנטאג יולי 16, 2012 11:11 am

תגובהדורך קיקיון » דינסטאג נובעמבער 28, 2017 2:38 pm

תיקון טעות און קלארער
אז די ווילסט שרייבען אדער ק\פ אויף ענגליש און עס זאל האבען א נארמאלען אויסזעהן לדוגמא דאס
דאונלאוד דעם פייל download/file.php?id=150820 און סעיוו עס
שרייב אדער קלעב דארט און ק\פ דאס גאנגצע אריין אין אייוועלט
אויב עס איז דא דערין אידיש אותיות
נוץ http://textmechanic.com/text-tools/obfu ... generator/ און נוץ FLIP
מאך פון אויב עס איז דא דערין אידיש אותיות תויתוא שידיא ןירעד אד זיא סע ביוא און קלעב דאס אריין


The posuk says
וגרה ונב םכש תאו רומח תאו .רכז לכ וגרהיו חטב ריעה לע ואביו
– …They came to the city confidently and killed every male. And Chamor and Shechem his son they killed

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מאנטאג יולי 16, 2012 11:11 am

תגובהדורך קיקיון » פרייטאג דעצמבער 08, 2017 11:40 am

R' EG a nutritionist writes a weekly article on the Parsha
Is this a typo or a pun?

Untitled.gif
Untitled.gif (23.27 KiB) געזעהן 1842 מאל

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מאנטאג יוני 06, 2011 11:01 am
לאקאציע: בתוך עמי אנכי ישבת

תגובהדורך SPUSMN » פרייטאג דעצמבער 08, 2017 12:05 pm

עס זעהט אויס ווי א טייפאו, לכאורה דער ספעל טשעקער וואס האט מציע געווען דער ווארט און ער האט שנעל געקליקט אויף דער ווראנג ווארט.

ער האט געמיינט צו שרייבען snakes
עת לחשות ועת לדבר - קהלת ג ז

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מאנטאג יולי 16, 2012 11:11 am

תגובהדורך קיקיון » זונטאג פאברואר 25, 2018 3:39 pm

Some thoughts for Purim
for the Ezra Nashim
by Rabbi Rabbi Eli Glaser Certified Nutrition, Wellness, & Weight Management Consultant Director of Soveya

* If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Plan your entire Purim day in advance by writing out a schedule. Have a family meeting to discuss each person’s needs and agenda for the day. Figure out who’s davening when and where, who’s watching the kids so you can daven and hear megillah in peace, when you are delivering mishloach manos, when the seudah will begin, etc. If you have a schedule and you know what to do next and what to expect, you won’t feel so harried and you’ll be less likely to stick something in your mouth.


* The yetzer hara makes sure we stay too busy on Purim, a day when no prayer goes unanswered, to take the time to daven. Arrange to go to shul a half hour before the megillah reading so you can daven a good Shacharis, or stay after the reading to daven. Among your other bakashos on this powerful yom tefillah, ask HaShem for help to get you through the day without overeating, and for the strength to set limits and boundaries for your children.



* Have a friend or family member be with you while sorting through all of the mishloach manos you receive. This should be someone in front of whom you would be embarrassed to nosh. Take out any healthy items and store them in your kitchen.


* Make a tremendous Kiddush HaShem and bring all the excess junk food to your local fire house as an expression of hakoras hatov. Bring your children with you so they can feel the joy of doing the mitzvah and won’t feel the resentment of giving away the candy. Don’t send it to your kid’s yeshiva - it certainly won’t help their learning.


* When faced with a food challenge or temptation that requires great effort, think of Esther Hamalkah. Just as Esther showed tremendous courage and strength and risked her life by approaching the king, so too, we can ask HaShem for that same courage and strength at our moment of challenge.

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מאנטאג יולי 16, 2012 11:11 am

תגובהדורך קיקיון » פרייטאג מארטש 02, 2018 7:41 am

48

Come one and come all, did you hear the news?
The king’s making a party and inviting the Jews!
To go or stay home? It’s not black or white
But Mordechai’s telling us it just isn’t right

The food will be kosher, it will be a feast
We should go and show our faces at least
Don’t risk disappointing the powerful king
Our lives are in the hands of his signet ring

So many cheshbonos, such a decision
Shades of gray that are clouding our vision
But gedolim’s da’as Torah helps them to see
It’s just black and white, they have true clarity

Fast forward a few years, Haman’s in power
Everyone bowing, before him they cower
But Mordechai’s stubborn, he stands proud and tall
How can he dare to endanger us all?!

Doesn’t he realize the implications?
His actions can have major ramifications!
But to Mordechai Hatzaddik it is very clear
Hashem is the only One we have to fear

When we don’t understand, we just have to accept
Even if they tell you that right’s really left
Cuz gedolim’s da’as Torah helps them to see
What’s black and what’s white, they have true clarity

Sometimes we too face decisions like these
Juggling conflicting priorities
Like new technology that seems so exciting
What could go wrong, it looks so inviting

Or a job so appealing but puts values at risk
It’s a great opportunity, cannot be missed
The myriad shailos that come up along the way
Discuss with da’as Torah to see what they say

So the message of Purim is things ARE black and white
In every situation, there’s wrong and there’s right
Wishing you a Purim where you’re able to see
What’s wrong and what’s right, to gain true clarity.

Courtesty of The Fake newa division of Agudas Yisoel

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מאנטאג סעפטעמבער 25, 2017 4:44 pm
לאקאציע: שמחות תורה אויפ'ן פארענעשטעס

תגובהדורך קענדי'ס » מיטוואך אוקטובער 31, 2018 2:37 pm

איך ווייס נישט ווי צי עס לייגן זאל זיין דא
יעצט געטראפן אן אלטס אבער א גוטס
Something To Think About!

Imagine that you had won the following prize in a contest:
Each morning your bank would deposit $86,400.00 in your private account for your use.
However,this prize has rules, just as any game has certain rules.

The first set of rules would be:
Everything that you didn't spend during each day would be taken away from you.
You may not simply transfer money into some other account.
You may only spend it.
Each morning upon awakening, the bank opens your account with another $86,400.00 for that day.

The second set of rules:
The bank can end the game without warning; at any time it can say,
Its over,the game is over!
It can close the account and you will not receive a new one.

What would you personally do?
You would buy anything and everything you wanted, right?
Not only for yourself, but for all people you love, right?

Even for people you don't know, because you couldn't possibly spend it all on yourself, right?
You would try to spend every penny, and use it all, right?

ACTUALLY, this GAME is REALITY!

Each of us is in possession of such a magical bank. We just can't seem to see it.
The MAGICAL BANK is TIME!

Each morning we awaken to receive 86,400 seconds as a gift of life, and when we go to sleep at night, any remaining time is NOT credited to us.
What we haven't lived up that day is forever lost.

Yesterday is forever gone.

Each morning the account is refilled, but the bank can dissolve your account at any time....WITHOUT WARNI NG .

SO, what will YOU do with your 86,400 seconds?

Aren't they worth so much more than the same amount in dollars?
Think about that, and always think of this:
Enjoy every second of your life, because time races by so much quicker than you think.

So take care of yourself, be Happy, Love Deeply and enjoy life!

Here's wishing you a wonderfully beautiful day!!!

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מאנטאג סעפטעמבער 25, 2017 4:44 pm
לאקאציע: שמחות תורה אויפ'ן פארענעשטעס

תגובהדורך קענדי'ס » מיטוואך אוקטובער 31, 2018 2:48 pm

Reasons why I never visit my rich friend

Once while visiting a very rich friend, the maid approached me and.....


Question : "What would you like to have....? Fruit juice, Soda,

Tea, Chocolate, Capuccino, Frapuccino, or Coffee?"
Answer : " Tea please"

Question : " Ceylon tea, Indian tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, iced tea or green tea?"
Answer : " Ceylon tea"

Question : "How would you like it? Black or white?
Answer : "white"

Question : "Milk, or fresh cream?
Answer : "With milk"

Question : "Goat's milk, or cow's milk"
Answer : "With cow's milk please.

Question : "Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer : "Um, I'll just take it black."

Question : "Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer : "With sugar"

Question : "Beet sugar or cane sugar?"
Answer : "Cane sugar"

Question : "White, brown or yellow sugar?"
Answer : "Forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water instead."

Question : "Mineral water, tap water or distilled water?"
Answer : "Mineral water"

Question : "Flavored or non-flavored?"
Answer : "I think I'll just die of thirst"

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זיך איינגעשריבען אום: מאנטאג יוני 06, 2011 11:01 am
לאקאציע: בתוך עמי אנכי ישבת

תגובהדורך SPUSMN » מיטוואך אוקטובער 31, 2018 3:40 pm

קענדי'ס, עס דערמאנט מיר, ווען אונז זעמער געווען קינדער פלעגען מיר זינגען די פאלגענדע ניגון (דער טון איז דער באוויסטער פוילישער גערער ניגון אויף לכה דודי).

why, did he die, did he die die die die die die

why did he die, did he die

why did he die, did he die die die die die die

why did he die, did he die
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die die die die die die , die die die die die die; why, did he die die, did he die

die die die die die die , die die die die die die; why, did he die, did he die

אמאל האבען קינדער געהאט אנדערע השגות פון זיך פארשפילען
עת לחשות ועת לדבר - קהלת ג ז


צוריק צו “היימישע פארברענגן”

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