קומט אריין פאר א גלעזעלע שנאפס און א גוט ווארט
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קיקיון האט געשריבן:וואס איז דער אידישער נאמען פון די שפראך ?
I just met Shimmy's rebbe
He said gevaldige things about him
A real nachas to hear
---
Just coming from Mincha
In a side room I saw 2 Chushuve Bachurim real shteigers
learning Beer Mayim Chaim in English
It was a Nachas listening to their Shtels
ידיד האט געשריבן:טשולענט..
מומחה עצום האט געשריבן:
קיקיון האט געשריבן:מומחה עצום האט געשריבן:
best I have seen so far
IF PRO AND CON ARE OPPOSITES, IS CONGRESS THE OPPOSITE OF PROGRESS?"
English is the most widely used language in the history of our planet. One in every seven human
beings can speak it. More than half of the world's books and three-quarters of international mail are
in English. Of all languages, English has the largest vocabulary - perhaps as many as TWO
MILLION words - and one of the noblest bodies of literature.
Nonetheless, let's face it: English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, neither pine nor
apple in pineapple and no ham in a hamburger. English muffins weren't invented in England or
french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candy, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But when we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work
slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither a pig nor from Guinea.
And why is it that a writer writes, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, humdingers don't hum
and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of booth be beeth? One
goose, two geese - so one moose, two meese? One index, two indices - one Kleenex, two
Kleenices?
Doesn't it seem loopy that you can make amends but not just one amend, that you comb through the
annals of history but not just one anal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and you get rid of all
but one, what do you call it?
If the teacher taught, why isn't it true that the preacher praught? If a horsehair mat is made from the
hair of horses and a camel's-hair coat from the hair of camels, from what is a mohair coat made? If
a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you also
bote your tongue?
Sometimes I wonder if all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally
insane. In what other language do people drive on a parkway and park in a driveway? Recite at a
play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that
smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are
opposites? How can OVERLOOK and OVERSEE be opposites, while QUITE A LOT and QUITE
A FEW are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell the next?
And where are the people who ARE spring chickens or who actually WOULD hurt a fly? I meet
individuals who CAN cut the mustard, but I cannot talk about them in English.
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns
down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which your alarm clock goes off by going
on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race
(which, of course, isn't really a race at all). That is why, when stars are out they are visible, but
when the lights are out they are invisible. Any why, when I wind up my watch I start it, but when I
wind up this essay I end it.
msp האט געשריבן:There is a difference between brethren and brothers,
brothers are born to the same parents
but brethren belong to the same religious group